RACE

Reciprocal Assessment  Career Evaluation.

Kyle and I had begun to pray last Fall about the idea of being missionaries.  It was what had drawn us together in the first place but something we had put on the back burner for a while after getting married and having our first kid.  When we began to talk about it again I was pretty apprehensive.  After all I had just been down that road and "caught nothing." I had attempted to raise support but never was able to get enough to go long-term.  I was with World Team in France but didn't really see any harvest or fruit of my ministry while I was there.   Kyle and I had just finished listening to the "Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, which is what got us discussing the idea of missions again.  In his book he emphasizes circling your dreams in prayer and not giving up. He also talks about faith and how it requires action.  Often in the Bible God's actions were proceeded by an act of faith.  For example, Moses stepped into the Jordan river, and THEN the waters were parted.  Both Kyle and I thought God might be asking us to take a step of faith.  We had been waiting for a miracle from God to pay off our loans before we would consider serving in missions again, but after listening to the Circle Maker we felt compelled to take action and trust God would part the waters later.  Of course we would continue to do our part in paying down our loans, but if we waited till they were totally paid off, we would never go.  So Kyle and I prayed asking God to confirm if missions was the direction He wanted us to go.  After praying, I flipped on the TV and it happen to be on the Christian channel.  Beth Moore was speaking on Mark 4, the story where Peter had been fishing all night and caught nothing.  Jesus was talking to a crowd but then zeros in on Peter.  Beth looks at the camera and says, "Just as Jesus focused in on Peter, even among a large crowd, so does He want to focus in on YOU." Then she proceeded to tell the story.  Jesus tells Peter to go back out and cast his nets again.  Peter replies, "But Master, we have fished all night and caught nothing, but at your request, we will let down the nets."  Beth goes on to say, "Someone listening has tried something and has caught nothing, but God is asking you to do it again.  This time He is using a new net."
I got chills just listening and felt like it was a clear answer from God saying "Do it again.  This time you have a new net."  What my new net is, I'm not totally sure, but I think it's Kyle.  It's a family.  It's a different time, a different season, and this time I believe we will have a big catch.
So with that confirmation, Kyle and I filled out the application and began heading in that direction.  World Team accepted us based on our application and they  we're going to extend an invitation for us to come to RACE but thought we needed to have more headway in our student loans first.  I was a little confused. Had we not heard God right?  So we again put the book of doing missions back on the shelf and continued living our "normal" life.  Little did we know that God had not ignored our act of faith.  Since then, Kyle has been promoted to a position that is allowing us to pay off our loans in 3 years, something we would never have been able to do at his old job!
Back in May I had been feeling a little depressed, like I had no vision.  I wasn't really sure what I was passionate about anymore and felt stoic and just blah. I was telling Kyle how I felt and eventually our conversation opened up to the dream I once had to serve in France.  It also re-kindled the passion Kyle had to serve as a pastor or help start a church that would function as a homeless shelter on the side.  We began to share our dreams again and saw how they fit together like a puzzle.  Up until this point we had forgotten about RACE and the whole Beth Moore thing. But through our discussion we thought, "Why not give it another shot?"   It was only two months away from July RACE. We re-contacted World Team and showed them our plan to pay off our student loans, and how God had provided a job for us to be able to do so.  With that, they extended an offer for us to come.  Then just before we left for RACE, Kyle got another promotion which ended up giving him vacation time allowing him to take a week off and still be paid.
So just like Mark Batterson would say, just because God doesn't answer your prayer right away, does not mean the answer is no.  For us it was wait.  And now we are seeing God answer in a way much bigger than we expected.

RACE was even better than we could have imagined.  The boys did so well on the trip.  They had their own personal nanny, allowing Kyle and I to be fully engaged.  I had been through RACE before so it wasn't a huge deal for me to step out and go feed James when needed.
We were at the main World Team office for the first few days.  We learned about World Team, where they serve, what their vision is, what there core values are etc.  One thing that had bothered me as a single was the amount of money I would have to raise.  I didn't see why I would need a 401K or insurance.  I just wanted to raise as little as possible, trust God, and just GO!  Well, now that I have a family I see things a little differently.  I'm grateful for World Teams policy of making sure their missionaries have a 401K and health insurance.  Not to mention, as we get older, so will our supporters.  Eventually we may be able to live our 401K when we're older and not have to rely so much on support.  Another thing that I realized this time around is how much they emphasize innovation.  What I mean is, for a while I wondered if I was with the right agency because I wasn't sure if my gifts and passions would be fully used with World Team.  I wondered if perhaps I should be with an organization that is more specific in what they do - like Youth For Christ, whose main goal is reaching youth.  Then it occurred to both Kyle and myself that with World Team we really have a lot of liberty to use our gifts and passions as seen fit.  Kyle used the analogy of a parking lot.  Perhaps with YFC I would be working directly with this parking spot.  I could be totally on fire for working with youth, but if my heart were to ever change and I felt more passionate about, let's say, orphans, then I would have to switch agencies.  However World Team is like the entire parking lot.  If for a few years  I want to focus on a prayer ministry, I can.  If down the road I want to focus my attention on orphans, I can.  If later my heart is breaking for the poor and the needy, then I could work with them as well.  The main goal is to make disciples and to draw them into groups we call churches, but with World Team, there are countless ways that that could be done. So really, I'm much more excited about World Team knowing that I won't be limited and can use the talents and passions God gives me to serve.  Not to mention, the location of where we want to serve could even change down the road.  If Kyle and I feel the Holy Spirit guiding us elsewhere, there are several country choices we could serve via World Team.  Their focus, however, is the unreached places in the world that have little to no evangelical influence.

The second portion of our time at RACE was the part where we were being evaluated to see if we would be a good fit with World Team.  We did many group projects, shared our testimonies, endured tough questions, received constructive criticism, and by the end we both felt thoroughly known, yet deeply loved.  One scenario they did was put all the candidates in a room except for me and two others.  They received a letter that we had been kidnapped and they had to devise what they would do in a situation like that.  Most of them laughed at first, knowing it was just a theoretical situation.  After we walked back in the room and the role-play was done, the director said, "Ok, I know it was hard to get into this scenario since it wasn't real, but what if it were real.  I want you to close your eyes and imagine..." and then he started listing the names of the kids at RACE. "Noah, Levi, ELIJAH..." When he got to my kids' name, I started balling.  It really did make us realize there is a cost to following Christ.  If we were going to be missionaries, this was something we would have to consider.  It's hard to imagine anything happening to my family, but the truth is, that could happen anywhere in the world, and if it's going to happen, why not have it be while serving the Lord.

After much prayer and consideration, and speaking with our pastor, Kyle and I signed on with World Team.  We hope to serve in France, but actually some of the other places they thought we might be good a fit were in Italy and Brazil.  I think it would have to be quite clear for us go somewhere else, but we're open to it should the Lord lead.

One of the passages I had read before going to France the first time was in Mark 9.  It seemed to be a Rhema word from God regarding the country.  It's the story about the disciples trying to cast out a demon but could not.  They get into this  theological debate as to why they couldn't cast the demon out.  Then Jesus shows up and is able to cast out the demon.  But before the boy is set free, he foams at the mouth, shakes, and then appears dead.  Jesus takes him by the hand and he gets up, set free from demon possession.  The disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't cast the demon out and Jesus says "This one comes out only through prayer and fasting."  To me the country of France represents the boy.  It needs to be set free as well  but will only be set free through prayer.  At first the country may seem dead (much like it does spiritually right now), but then Jesus Himself will pick it back up and restore life free from demonic oppression.
As I was praying the other day in regards to where God would have us serve, I decided to open my Bible back up and pick up reading Mark where I had left off.  I had been reading the Book again just during my personal quiet time.  It just so happens that that passage is exactly where I had left off.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.  This time as I read it, the part to me that stood out the most was, "This kind only comes out through prayer."  I have had the desire to start a prayer ministry there, and this seemed to be God's way of confirming that desire.

One thing I had been nervous about at RACE was the France team finding out I was there and wondering why I was going back down this road again.  Would they want me back there after leaving early?  Would they trust me again after I had had many doubts about being there before when I was single?  As it turns out, the field director from France happened to be in Michigan this past week.  He and his wife came over for dinner and put my fears to rest.  They were very encouraging and supportive of Kyle and I pursuing ministry with them again.  They did ask a few questions regarding Kyle's desire to be in France and reminded me that it was a commitment, which I would expect, but over all we felt like if we were to serve in France with World Team that we would be welcomed back.

So that's where we stand now.  We're excited about the prospect of being missionaries again and the possibility to be back in France.  Now it's just a matter of raising support and paying down our student loans.  We anticipate this will be a 3-5 year process but would welcome a miracle should the Lord allow us to go sooner.